


Halloween Candy

by BetteNoire



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Keith hates vocaloid, Keith is a grumpy gills who doesn’t want to go outside, Matt is not aware rhee are 5 shrek movies, Matt likes zero escape, Modern AU, Pidge is excite for october, Pidge stole matts laptop, Shiro is so fucking tall, broganes, everyone loves hamilton but only matt likes ss, group chat au, he also has a letsplay channel, i can ljst so much weird vocaloid stuff, i just listened to hamilton while writing and thats the explanation for the dear theodosia bit, i wanna aftually write that pta mom thing, juzo is also here and my inner munasaka is showing, keith is still screaming about the vocaloid shit, matt is a walking emoji, pidge and lance are memelords, pidge does not like ss, pidge is not over Chiaki and neither am i, ss doss not mean sack of shit, theres a lot of injokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-08 07:25:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12249717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BetteNoire/pseuds/BetteNoire
Summary: Pidgey: it’s timePidgey: for spoooky month!EmoXtremo: YOU’VE BEEN GUSHING ABOUT HALLOWEEN EVER SINCE SEPTEMBERLanceyLance: It’s Halloween!!!! Who isn’t excited!!!!Another Voltron Group Chat Modern AU based on the stupid shit that happens around Halloween with the paladins.





	1. Pidge is enthusiastic about Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> Title/inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_DG3PvoMGQ because I got halloween spirit from this video. Warning! The video is very explicit and the first line is bot appropriate for kids. Child molester is a common word in this song.
> 
> Pidgey - Pidge  
> LanceyLance - Lance  
> EmoXtremo - Keith  
> MrCandyBowl - Hunk  
> SpaceDad - Shiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge starts a group chat. Chaos insues.

_Pidgey has started a new group chat!_

_Pidgey has changed the name of the group from ‘Untitled Group Chat’ to ‘SPOOKY TIMES’_

_Pidgey has invited EmoXtremo, LanceyLance and two more_

Pidgey: henlo you stinky nerds

Pidgey: it’s time

Pidgey: for spooky month!

EmoXtremo YOU’VE BEEN GUSHING ABOUT HALLOWEEN SINCE SEPTEMBER!

LanceyLance: It’s halloween!!!! Who isn’t excited!!!!

Pidgey: well apparently mr grumpy gills doesn’t have the halloween spirit

Pidgey: for shame!

Pidgey: FOR SHAAAAMME!!!

SpaceDad: He’s Always Been Like That Though.

EmoXtremo: Shiro!

SpaceDad: He Just Wants To Sit At Home All Day.

SpaceDad: And Eat My Candy.

LanceyLance: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pidgey: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

EmoXtremo: IT’S NOTHING LIKE THAT

LanceyLance: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Sure Keith.

MrCandyBowl: I’m terribly confused.

Pidgey: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MrCandyBowl: That did not help but thank you for the face. :3

LanceyLance: lmao. Anyway pidge. My number two in command of pranks.

Pidgey: im clearly number 1.

Pidgey: im def better than you.

LanceyLance: Oh when you wish you knew how to play a violin.

LanceyLance: Fine.

LanceyLance: Pidge is number one.

Pidgey: *trumpet noises*

Pidgey: YEAH

LanceyLance: Anyway let’s just prank Keith with spooky shit until he admits how great Halloween is.

MrSugarBowl: Don’t do anything like last year again.

LanceyLance: I’m afraid you’ll have to ge more specific.

LanceyLance: I got yelled at a lot last year.

MrSugarBowl: Don’t overload Keith with sugar again, he almost killed Shiro with his bare hands and a Yorkie bar on a sugar rush.

Pidgey: holy shit keef

Pidgey: shiro is like

Pidgey: uhhh

SpaceDad: 6’3”

Pidgey: ur too tall

Pidgey: but keef is like my size so how the fuck he almost kill you?

MrSugarBowl: Keith climbed Shiro like a spider. He just sprinted up, sat on his shoulder and started to choke.

EmoXtremo: Excuse me I’m not that short.

Pidgey: u r tho.

Pidgey: anyway how we gonna prank keef

LanceyLance: I say blast Hallowern songs on loop for the entire month - it’d drive him bonkers.

EmoXtremo: Jokes on you, I like Halloween songs.

Pidgey: what about

Pidgey: VOCALOID

Pidgey: halloween

Pidgey: songs

Pidgey: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

EmoXtremo: ...

_EmoXtremo has muted the group chat!_

LanceyLance: MWEHEHEHE

SpaceDad: Keith Has Started Screaming Into A Pillow.

SpaceDad: “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK” Is The Most Accurate Transcript I Can Think Of.

LanceyLance: hahah

LanceyLance: this months gonna be spooky as fuck

Pidgey: i’ve already set up the laptop to blast songs at 3 am

Pidgey: this shit gonna be good

MrSugarBowl: It was nice knowing you Keith’s sleep schedule.

SpaceDad: We’re All Going To Go Dead This Month

SpaceDad: *Deaf

Pidgey: same difference


	2. Matt makes an entrance!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my self indulgent halloween group chat fanfic. Now with more obscure referances! This chapter was fun to write. There’s two referances pepperoni one will fet (vampire and fanfic) bevause noone else does what i do
> 
> Names:  
> Pidgey - Pidge  
> LanceyLance - Lance  
> EmoXtremo - Keith  
> MrCandyBowl - Hunk  
> SpaceDad - Shiro  
> LotusFujisaki - Matt

‘ _SPOOKY TIMES’_

_Time: 02:39 PM_

**_Online:_ **

_Pidgey_

_**Offline:** _

_LanceyLance_

_EmoXtremo_

_MrCandyBowl_

_SpaceDad_

_Pidgey has invited LotusFujisaki_

Pidgey: change ur fucking name its stupid

LotusFujisaki: nU

LotusFujisaki: yU ChAnGe UrS fIrSt

Pidgey: god ur typing style is weird

LotusFujisaki: iT’s MiNe bInCh

Pidgey: im telling mum u meanie

LotusFujisaki: nOt If I tElL hEr ABOuT yOuR rEpOrT cArD fRoM 7th gRaDe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Pidgey: fine then 

Pidgey: you suck matt

_Pidgey has changed their nickname to Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt_

LotusFujisaki: oKaY tHaT’s JuSt FuCkInG mEaN

LotusFujisaki: wHeN dId I sAy ThAt?!

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: august 15th 12:34 to my fucking face you twat.

_Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt has shared a video: matt_blackmail#13.mp4_

LotusFujisaki: wOw

LotusFujisaki: fIrSt Of AlL

LotusFujisaki: hOw’D yOu ReCoRd ThAt?

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: i decided to record your reaction to the bee movie theough your webcam and this gem popped up.

LotusFujisaki: tHaT rAiSeS sO mAnY qUeStIoNs. 

LotusFujisaki: bUt SeCoNd QuEsTiOn

LotusFujisaki: hOw MuCh BlAcKmAiL dO yOu HaVe AgAiNsT mE?

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: a lot

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: wait hold on

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt has shared an image: unknown.png

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: well theres ur answr

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: *answer

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: 182 total

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: probably more somewhere tho

LotusFujisaki: i’D bE ShOcKeD bUt

LotusFujisaki: sOrRy SiS yOu’Ve BeEn BeAtEn

_LotusFujisaki has shared an image: unknown.png_

LotusFujisaki: 421 cUrReNtLy On My PhOnE aLoNe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: fuck you OWw

LotusFujisaki: wHaT

LotusFujisaki: the fact that i’m better than you hit you in the back.

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: pepperoni never

LotusFujisaki: pEpPeRoNi?

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: oh

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: i changed no to pepperoni in my ohone for shits and giggles and never turned it off

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: anyway

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: dear theodosia is killing meeeee

LotusFujisaki: lmao

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: it’s reminding me of bae bae and it HURTS

LotusFujisaki: i CaN’t BeLiEvE uR lIsTeNiNg To HaMiLtOn oN sPoOkY mOnTh

LotusFujisaki: aNd It’S rEmInDiNg YoU oF bAe Bae!!!

LotusFujisaki: hEaThEn

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: fuck off you shatt

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: also delete a blackmail of mine

LotusFujisaki: fOr 420?

LotusFujisaki: k

LotusFujisaki: bYe ByE lItTlE bUtTeRfLy

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: perfecto

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: what’d you delete

LotusFujisaki: tHe OnE oF yOu WaTcHiNg Me PlAy TWEWY

_LotusFujisaki has changed their nickname to Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt_

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: tHaT’s WhAt YoU sAiD

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: fuck off

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: theres pepperoni other good playthrough

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : sO yOu GoT dEsPeRaTe

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : hAhAhA

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : shut up you bee fucker

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: aNyWaY wHeReS mY lApToP pIdGe

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: iT’s GoNe MiSsInG 

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: aNd I hEaViLy SusPeCt yOu

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: who me?

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: yEs yOu

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: yOu StInKy VaMpIrE

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: ur the vamp here you weeb

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: fUcK oFf YoU wAtChEd OwArI nO sErApH toO

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: but i didn’t make a shrine to ferid batholmy

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: checkmate weeb

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: fUcK oFf PiDgEoN wE aLl KnOw WhO cRiEd ThE hArDeSt WhEn ChIaKi DiEd

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: wHo DiDn’T?!?!??

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: yOu HaVe A pOiNt

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : besides you cried like a fucking baby when juzo died

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : eXcUsE mE hE dIdN’t EvEn GeT tO cOnFeSe HiS lOvE?!?!?

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : pLuS mUnAkAtA, tHe FuCkEr WhO sTaBbEd HiM iN tHe FiRsT pLaCe, HaD tO wAtCh HiM dIe

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : aGaIn

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : haven’t felt that many emotions since that one fanfic where it went from cuddling in a closet to black magic

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : wAiT wHaT fUcKiNg FaNfIcS dO yOu ReAd?!?!

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : dunno at this point. 

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : think you can kick ink demons in the crotch

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : iM nOt HaViNg ThIs CoNvErSaTiOn At 3 Am

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : mAyBe?

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : uR lEg WoUlD gEt InKy.

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : noted

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : thx nerd

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: anyway if u rlly want to kno where ur laptop is

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: me and lance hid it in the bushes out of gays house

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: i’M jUsT gOnNa AsUmE yOu MeAn KeItH

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: wHaT iS mY lApToP dOiNg WiTh KeItH

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : to loudly blast spoopy vocaloid at 3 am

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : sO yOu’Ve PuT sTeAmPiAnIsT oN lOop

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : aGaIn

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: aww comeon you appreciate steampenis as much as i

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : wElL yEaH bUt WaKiNg Up To “ThE fRiEnDlY cHiLd MoLeStOr” Is NeVeR fUn.

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : well gay’ll be having fun then

_SpaceDad is online! (03:02 AM)_

SpaceDad: Pidge Holy Shit.

SpaceDad; Stop Stealing Matt’s Laptop.

SpaceDad: Play Your Vocaloid Trash On Your Laptop

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : boo hoo it’s mr party crasher 

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: hEy ShIrO

SpaceDad: I’d ask what you did to your names but they look like something you’d do.

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: they’re beautiful ( ^ω^ )

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

_SpaceDad is offline!_

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: cOmE bAcK sHiRo ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ _(:3 」∠)_

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: anime was a mistake

 


	3. TASTE MY LEMON SQUARES LINDA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I actually like Samuel Seabury a bit but I also widh to kick him in the crotch. I have chart of sams going from i’d kick u in the nuts to i’d kick someone else in the nuts for you to yo don’t deserve this shit. I’ll leak namss if you want. Anyway, this chalter gets stupid, like always. 
> 
> Names:  
> (Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt) Pidgey - Pidge  
> LanceyLance - Lance  
> EmoXtremo - Keith  
> MrCandyBowl - Hunk  
> SpaceDad - Shiro  
> (Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt) LotusFujisaki - Matt

_‘SPOOKY TIMES’_

_Time: 10:03 PM_

_Online:_

_Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt_

_LanceyLance_

_MrCandyBowl_

_SpaceDad_

_Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt_

_Offline:_

_EmoXtremo_

LanceyLance: What the fuck happened last night

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : what do you mean 

LanceyLance: 1, when did you watch The Bee Movie with Matt and 2, why is that your name.

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : first answer, august 15 12:34 while we were both high

MrCandyBowl: HIGH?!

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: on candy what did you think we were high on

MrCandyBowl: Knowing everyone here, cocaine and crystal meth

MrCandyBowl: Not you Shiro tho

MrCandyBowl: You’re clean

SpaceDad: Thank You!

SpaceDad: Now We Stop Talking About Drugs.

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: never shiro

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: AnYwAy WhO sAw ThE nEwS tHaT pEoPlE sTaRtEd PutTiNg DrUg In CaNdY fOr TrIcK oR tReAtErS

LanceyLance: “here little susie have some cocaine!” “wait what” “chocolate!” “... MOM” 

SpaceDad: WE STOP TALKING ABOUT DRUGS NOW

MrCandyBowl: Exactly!

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: fine

pidgechat: anyone wanna have a ghibli marathon later

MrCandyBowl: Me!

LanceyLance: What’cha think I’mma say gremlin?

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: no because i am to prestiged to listen to your opinions naegi i am superior ghibli sucks disney is betta money snort snort neyh 

LanceyLance: Disney is superior but

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : HEATHEN

MrCandyBowl: Well I don’t agree but that’s your opinion!

_Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt  has removed LanceyLance from the group chat!_

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: fuck you

SpaceDad: Add Lance Back, Don’t Be A Child

SpaceDad: Besides Laika Is Cool Too

_Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt  has removed SpaceDad from the group chat!_

MrCandyBowl: Add them back Pidge, we can have a Ghibli, Disney and Laika marathon!

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: why

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : BeCaUsE i’M nOw GoNnA bUrN yOuR dVd PlAyeR iF yOu DoN’t

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : i’ll burn every copy of ndrv3 so you can never play or watch anyone play it

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: NOOOOOO GONTA MY LOVE

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : fInE gReMlIn BuT pLs MuLtI mArAtHoN

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: I wIlL wAtcH tHe EnTiRe ShReK sErIeS aNd FiLm My ReAcTiOn

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : okay

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : because that sounds like you’ll be in pain for a century

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : like i’ll be tonight but worse

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt : because it’s shrek for fucks sake

_Matt “I unicornically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt has added LanceyLance and SpaceDad to the group chat!_

LanceyLanxe: who gave the gremlin a years worth of candy to let us back

MrSugarBowl: I probably would’ve but Matt convinced her with his reaction to all 5 Shrek Movies!

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : THERE’S 5 OF THEM?!?!

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: WHAT 

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: NO 

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: I REGRET THIS DECISION NOW 

Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt: holy shit the despair is real

_Matt “I unironically liked the bee movie fuck off pidge” Holt has changed their nickname to “Bunko Enoshima”_

Bunko Enoshima: DESPAIR IS MY MIDDLE NAME

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : nO iT iSn’T 

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: uR mIdDlE nAmE iS aBiGaIl

LanceyLance: Abigail?

LanceyLance: Dat sounds like a mom name.

LanceyLance: “TASTE MY LEMON SQUARES LINDA”

LanceyLance: “They’re close to shit Abigail.”

LanceyLanxe: “So’s your son’s education Linda”

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: wHeN dId PTA mOm’S bEcOmE sO sEriOuS

Bunko Enoshima: ever since jenny’s boyfriend left, morgan got pregant, eve roasted the principal and linda realised she was bi 

MrCandyBowl: How far have you thought out this PTA mom story? 

Bunko Enoshima: that far

LanceyLance: We need more details on the bicident and the roasting

Bunko Enoshima: linda had an orgy while ordering pizza and eve made a parody of alexander hamilton except he fucks up more and he’s the principal

SpaceDad: How Could A Ham Fuck Up More?!?

SpaceDad: Wait Don’t Answer That Please Don’t 

Bunko Enoshima: he kills burr on their first meeting and proceeds to set up a gang with laurens and lafayette 

LanceyLance: but he killed burr

LanceyLance: thats an improvemnt

Bunko Enoshima: mulligan isn’t there because he’s the mole with the cops. 

Bunko Enoshima: shut up lance it’s my fanfi-story

LanceyLance: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) sure

Bunko Enoshima: shut your klance 

Bunko Enoshima: anyway

Bunko Enoshima: farmer refuted is just an even bigger rap battle and seabury is killed at the end because no one likes him except for matt

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : fUcK oFf pIdGe

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : yOu LiKe uhh

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : wAiT yOu LiKe NoThInG

Bunko Enoshima: i like jefferson unlike your gay ass

Bunko Enoshima: anyway they just carry on being badasses

Bunko Enoshima: they send a letter to kgiii just saying “we’ll shit on england fuck you and your gay ass”

Bunko Enoshima: angelica hates alex and tells eliza to avoid him but she marrys him in secret

MrCandyBowl: No Eliza! ;-; Don’t trust Ham!

Bunko Enoshima: i kno hunk

Bunko Enoshima: he don’t deserve cinnamon roll

Bunko Enoshima: i mean eliza

Bunko Enoshima: angelica eventually finds out bout the marriage and shows eliza the papers that prove he’s part of the mafia and murderer at least two people

Bunko Enoshima: so she says to ham (one of you guys go)

LanceyLance: “i’mma go to my parents to think this through i still wuc you and i made u a pakced lunch but i don’t trust you to stay here so BYE ” “ELIZZAAA” 

LanceyLance: a disembodied voice says AND PEGGY

SpaceDad: Pidge Is This Copied Off Tumblr?

SpaceDad: Because It Feels Like It Was.

Bunko Enoshima: but i am the personification of tumblr

Bunko Enoshima: anyway maria comes over and ham uses his sneaky skills to murder her and james

Bunko Enoshima: meanwhile mulligan meets up with angelica and eliza and they all team up to leak ham’s shady shit to the public

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : nO jEfFeRsOn?

Bunko Enoshima: no

Bunko Enoshima: because then we’d have to have two daveed digs

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : cLoNe HiM

SpaceDad: NO

Bunko Enoshima: ye okay

Bunko Enoshima: but i’ve never watched what have i’ve missed ir whatever so he’s just there

Bunko Enoshima: anyway they find the reynolds murder and all the other shady shit the mafia has done and then ham gets caught and ges pooped on my jefferson and dies the end 

MrSugarBowl: That was dark guys!

LanceyLance: Oh no we scared Hunk! 0-0

Bunko Enoshima: anyway that was how A ham fucked up

Bunko enoshima : fuck seabury’s back

Bunko Enoshima: TEAR HIM APART MULLIGAN

Bunko Enoshima: BURR FUCK OFF

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : Turn of Farmer Refuted then 

Bunko Enoshima: but ham

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt : continue 

Bunko Enoshima: k it’s over but now it’s burr fuck

Bunko Enoshima: this is burrs salty tm song

MrSugarBowl: I think you need a break from Hamilton. Do you wanna start the marathon?

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: i’Ll StArT sEtTiNg It Up

Bunko Enoshima: thx nerd

LanceyLance: Anyway Pidge wanna watch vocaloid shitposts while gremlin #2 sets up the marathon

Bunko Enoshima: yeee

Bunko Enoshima: let’s start with the one where everyone in the comments wants to vore donald trump 

LanceyLance: that sounds normal

MrSugarBowl: NORMAL?!?

Bunko Enoshima: it’s vocaloid

Bunko Enoshim: where someone will eat dirt and tarantulas but not vegetables that may or may bot be your grandma

SpaceDad: I Can’t Believe That Is A Sentance You’ve Typed

Bunko Enoshim: there’s worse ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: gOd ThIs GrOuP cHaT iS lIkE tHe ReYnOlD’s PaMpHlEt

SpaceDad: Why?

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: eVeRyThInG gOeS dOwNhIlL

Katie “Matt I’ll never watch your silly gaming channel you suck” Holt: bUt PiDgE cOuLd Go On FoR aGeS aBoUt WeIrD vOcAlOiD sHit

SpaceDad: how could it be worse than voring donald trump?


End file.
